Referrals Don't Come From Conversation Stoppers

Meet someone you know, whether at a business event or restaurant, and right away you'll be asked the ubiquitous "How's it going?"

My answer has been "Busy! We've just got no time to breathe we're so busy!"

And then I started watching the result of my answer:
it stopped conversation.
If you ask, and I give you this answer, you'll nod, and smile, and move on.

That is not the way to get referrals!

It's been hard, but I'm training myself to say "This week I'm working with a client who . . ."
with the speed and ease I used to blurt out "Busy!"

It's been hard to change the habit because

  1. It's a habit after all.
    That means I do it without thinking.
    Now I have to think.
    Thinking is hard.
  2. I feel valued by my work, and by my busy-ness.
    If I'm not busy, I'm not valued.
    Therefore, I want to be busy.

I'm eager to hear your thoughts.
Have you already had this epiphany?
If yes, how did you get into a new habit?
If no, is this concept resonating with you?
Tell me why.

Photo courtesy of Quinn Dombrowski