“There are two sides to every relationship: your side, and their side.”
You may remember a contact's name - Greet level - because you are consciously following through to bring them to Generator. At the same time, you could be at Grin on their bulls-eye: they recognize you, but your name isn't on the tip of their tongue.
You'll know this if they smile and say hello, but don't introduce you to the person they're speaking with.
“There is no guarantee that we’re at the same level of the bulls-eye at the same time.”
Until GateOpener.
GateOpener and Guardian relationships happen in the same space in time. From Graze to Generator there's no requirement, or even expectation, that's we're in sync. When miscommunication happens it's a clue we have them at the Generator level in our bulls-eye but they have us at Greet in theirs. When they give us a referral and we barely know them, we've moved forward faster with them than they did for us.
“Relationships can get better and they can get worse.”
The third dimension is forward and back. Think of it as a staircase. Up and down.
You can do things to move forward in my bulls-eye, making it more likely that I'll respond to a referral request as your Generator. And I can do things to move backward in your bulls-eye - insuring that you'll send prospective clients away from me.
When a GateOpener, a person who has been sending me one new client a month like clockwork, doesn't send a referral, it's a clue that I've moved back in their bulls-eye. Oh, they may use an excuse like "I've been so busy," or "the other guys price was better," but don't be fooled. There's a rift in the relationship, and it's something I've done.
At Greet, particularly, there are behaviors that will raise the bridge on forward movement. Think for a minute of something that would derail an acquaintance moving forward with you. {thinking . thinking . thinking} for me it would be missing an appointment. I had a 12 o'clock lunch with someone who wanted referrals from me. At exactly 12:00 I got a text: "Wendy, this is Josh. I'm so, so sorry to do this to you, but I have had a serious client emergency just come up and I have to attend to. Please accept my apologies and let's try to reschedule soon!"
Isn't going to happen.
Ever.
He's at Graze for me.
If he walked in right now I wouldn't recognize him, and I didn't remember his name until I looked up the text. Nothing he can do about it. Move on.
Now picture the Generator level in your mind.
Darrell is at Generator in my bulls-eye. He didn't return a phone call. It didn't move him backward - I just called him again a few days later. No biggie. If he'd been at Greet level not returning a call might have stalled him out. At Generator I thought "He's busy. Good!" At Greet I might have thought "humpf."
If Darrell had texted me at 12:00 that he wasn't going to make a meeting WAIT! he wouldn't have. He would have called, not texted, at 11:15; time enough for me to change my plans. And he would have called me the next day to apologize and reschedule. That's why Darrell is at Generator level with me and it's why I called him again when he didn't return my phone call.
So there's a front and a back to the bulls-eye.
One dimension is me and one dimension is them.
And then there's direction.
Relationships can move in both directions.
That's 4D.